Why Do We Need Coaches?
By Ellen Burton
It seems like at a certain point in our lives, we should know how to be successful, be satisfied and get the results we want. As we pass through the milestone numbers and events, we are surprised that this inner confidence and wisdom doesn’t download automatically at age 30, 40, 50 or when we become a Vice President, start our business, launch our non-profit, or have our first baby.
Instead, life circumstances become more complex, the questions we face internally get bigger and the skills and strategies we utilized to succeed in our 20’s don’t work anymore to provide both the progress and peace we desire to experience each day. Practically speaking, we simply don’t know how to live life at this next level, and we can’t figure it out by having a repeated monologue with ourselves on a daily basis.
This is why we need coaches. If you are not familiar with coaching or you’ve categorized it as something for “those other women who [fill-in-the-blank]”, let’s make it clear. Your life is like a computer operating system. It is either working efficiently and effectively toward what you desire or it’s not. When your operating system is functioning well, all of the hardware, software and peripheral components work together with little effort and you reliably see the results you desire.
When it stops working, you fix it. Sometimes you can do this on your own (by shaking the laser ink cartridge one more time or quickly downloading the needed Flash player). Sometimes you can’t fix it on your own. You need outside help to assess and upgrade the system so it supports the new level of functionality.
Human beings have operating systems that include your beliefs, assumptions, behaviors, emotions, body movement, language and more. This system is a result of many factors like your genetics, temperament, family of origin, ancestry, geography, peers, education, life experiences, culture, etc. And even into old age, your operating system can be modified and updated to create new possibilities in your life.
People come to coaching when there is a breakdown in their operating system. This can be for a positive reason, like a promotion or a big life change. It can be for a negative reason, like surprisingly being let go from your job or a business that feels like it’s failing. Either way, people come to coaching when they are ready to take it to the next level. This “update” for coaching clients is a process of collaborative conversations between coach and client that increases selfawareness and expands how clients see themselves and the world. This increased awareness and expanded vision makes it possible for clients to identify new actions that they could not previously see to take (or the courage to take action they have feared taking). Coaching also provides support and accountability that encourages clients to take new and different actions so they can produce results that matter to them.
So how does working with a coach actually “update” your operating system?
Providing Assessments & Inquiries. Assessments provide objective information, which can enhance your self-awareness as well as awareness of others. Assessment tools are carefully selected and interpreted by Tiara coaches to help you most effectively update your operating system. Inquiries are used to unearth the subjective ways that you are operating.
Changing Beliefs & Assumptions. Tiara coaches are highly skilled at helping you recognize your beliefs and assumptions and see how some of those beliefs and assumptions are limiting. As coaches, we not only coach you to identify, challenge, and revise your beliefs and assumptions. We also show you how to continually update the belief/assumption component of your operating system so you can do this the rest of your life.
Sharing New Concepts. Tiara coaches will continuously share new information with you to broaden your understanding and motivate you to make the changes you desire.
Practicing New Behaviors. An essential way to update your operating system is through practice. Human beings’ operating systems don’t usually update as easily as those on a computer. We need practice and the opportunity to learn new ways of being, thinking and taking action over time. Accountability and support increases the odds that you will engage in the practices and create a true operating system update over time.
As coaching progresses, the client’s personal aims become more defined, and the client and coach collaboratively design action plans through which the client can make her personal vision a reality. Throughout the implementation of these action plans, the coach provides the client: continuous assessment of progress, strategies to address challenges, alternative perspectives on situations or events, as well as acknowledgement and celebration of victories.
How can you tell if you are ready for a coach? It’s simple. Ask yourself if you believe operating the same way you have up to this point will get you the results you seek. If yes, great, then you know what to do. If not, then you are ready to upgrade your operating system, and a coach might be a perfect solution. As Tiara coaches, we believe you are the expert in your life and our job is to collaborate with you to help you live life on your terms and produce the results that matter most to you. If you are interested in experiencing coaching at Tiara firsthand, connect with us to learn about how our programs can help you.