What is the perfect gift to give your mother? Get to know her.
For Mothers’ Day 2013, Tiara Global Leaders shined the spotlight on their mothers in recognition of Mother’s Day. These influential women who shaped our lives provided us with incredible stories.
Since then, two of our mothers who were interviewed at that time have passed on, making the fact that we did this exercise feel even more like .a true gift.
In this time of fast-paced time full of speedy delivery of online-ordered flowers, chocolates, and spa gift certificates, consider giving your mom (or the woman who played a meaningful mothering role in your life) the gift of telling her story.
When we interviewed our moms we heard amazing facts that we had not previously internalized about these amazing women.
For instance, Franciska’s mother spoke of traveling 200 kilometers by herself on a bike in search of food during the war: “At home and where we lived we had run out of food, my father was too old to go out, my brothers were hiding, and it was just obvious that I would go. I didn’t question how to get there. I just went and trusted that it would work out.”
Andrea’s mother spoke of courageous choices that set the tone for her whole life: “I am quite proud of having insisted on getting an education and a job as a nurse. I was the only girl from my village and I had to take a fierce stand against my father’s wishes to do this. He even cast me out of his will for this.”
Others spoke of the pride they felt at having cultivated successful familial relationships: Alison’s mother cited her marriage as a defining moment in her life, explaining that “Choosing to marry a man who was accomplished and dedicated to his work was pivotal. I knew he would be consistent, and encourage to me to grow and develop my own interests.”
The questions we asked included:
What are you most proud of accomplishing so far in your life?
Looking back, what choices did you make that you knew would be pivotal in the direction your life was going to go?
What do you think of the current roles women in play in the world?
What lessons have you learned in your life that you'd like to pass on to me?
Based on our open-hearted interviews, we offer you the life lessons from our mothers, handed down to us.
Love your neighbor.
“Women are peacemakers and less ego-driven than men. I believe that if women ruled every country in the world, there would be no wars. I also believe that if people sang and danced together with those of other cultures, there would be greater compassion and understanding.” –Alison’s mom
Invest time and warmth in another human being.
“I am proud of marrying your dad. I can always trust on him. Sometimes I am impatient with him, but he is always there for me.” –Franciska’s mom
Be grateful for what you have in life.
“Most husbands did not share in any of the child rearing or housework. Fortunately, my husband helped with the children. I remember my brother boasting that he never changed a diaper, and I realized how very lucky I was to have a partner for a husband, especially at bed time when we had an assembly line of bathing and toweling and getting a small army of little ones to bed.” –Beth’s mom
Give generously to the people you love.
“By the nature of being a parent, I do feel that I was a powerful leader in my role in my family and with my children through role modeling. I'm not sure of the word "powerful". I know I had influence, especially when you were a child.” –Betsy’s mom
Share your table with friends.
“Together with my friend Jetske we first went on a vacation to Switzerland where we had a great time. We discovered hitchhiking and fully enjoyed our freedom.” –Franciska’s mom
What ever you undertake or do, be happy doing it. If you can't enjoy it, get out of it!
“The challenging thing about the early feminist movement was that it created a divide for women who loved being at home with the lives they created with those women that wanted something else. I was one of the women who was totally happy. I was living the life I wanted and created.” –Beth’s mom
We all have a gift to share: it is up to us to find one that you love and take pride in.
“I am proud of when I chose to have a private practice as a physiotherapist when you were little. I didn’t want to spend my time chitchatting and coffee hopping around the neighborhood. I loved my work, helping people to ease their pain and return to moving comfortably. And I loved being independent.” –Franciska’s mom
Try something new. If you are afraid to try new things it stifles you!
“After high school I joined the convent. I did this to leave home and separate from my family. The biggest result is that I learned to think for myself. The experience provided me a new outlook on religion, rules and spirituality.” –Betsy’s mom
Don't be afraid to ask for help, and know your limits.
“I think women today are better educated. They also have the pressure to do it all. I really enjoyed my work even though it required I put my youngest child in daycare. That was a very big choice for me after staying home with my other children.” –Beth’s mom
Live every moment as if it is your last.
“Travel the world and learn from people everywhere. Take elements from other cultures and incorporate them into the fabric of your life. That’s what makes us so powerful.” –Alison’s mom
We encourage you to take advantage of these questions and ask your own mothers, mother-figures, and daughters similar ones. What did you learn? What did you share? What was the true gift you either gave or received by investing this time?
