How Neuroscience Sheds Another Perspective on Our Stress Responses

Article

Feb 17

You most likely are familiar with the concept of “Fight or Flight” as one of the stress responses. This has an old history and is well accepted to be an evolved survival mechanism enabling people and other mammals to react quickly to life-threatening situations. This mechanism dates all the way back to when we humans lived as hunters and gatherers. Although some time has gone by, this stress response is still a part of our lives. Instead of dangerous animals, we now face the turmoil of our current living reality (wars, environmental and economic uncertainties, health concerns, relationship difficulties, or even traffic jams).

These events trigger a cascade of stress hormones that produce physiological changes through Cortisol and Adrenaline. Heart rates go up, we breathe faster, muscles tense... our body is ready to fight or flight.

Is This The Same For All Of Us?

Yes, this response is a typical response for all of us. All of us meaning: all genders. However, as most research in the medical field (and many others) historically has been conducted on men, there are findings that for women there is a slight and significant difference in the release of hormones. In women there is not only a body reaction but also a brain reaction leading to a social response. When Cortisol and Adrenaline rush through the body, another hormone is released in the female brain as well. This additional hormone is Oxytocin which promotes caring and loving emotions. Studies also suggest that different brain areas are involved. Under stress, women’s brain undergo not only an emotional reaction but also one that is social. For men it has a contrary effect, actually even decoupling these areas with a tendency to individualize.

Ever Heard Of Tend And Befriend?

Fight-or-flight is a term coined by the American physiologist Walter Cannon in 1915. About ninety-five years later Shelly E. Taylor developed the theory “tend-and-befriend” to characterize social responses to threat (Taylor, 2002; Taylor et al., 2000). These responses are more common with women. However, they are not exclusive as men and all genders can show these same responses.

In all our work on Gender Diversity we keep stressing that we do not want to highlight differences in masculine and feminine traits and behaviors to separate but rather to increase our awareness. Some of the differences are biological, but more of them are due to our cultural upbringing. This includes the norms and role concepts we learned and the paradigms we personally developed. Being involved with this topic for about 20 years, I find it interesting that I just recently learned about this theory.

To quote from the study directly “Tend and befriend responses to stress may be particularly characteristic of women. At the time when human stress responses evolved, generally thought to be the Pleistocene Era, tasks of daily living were largely sex-segregated, with men heavily responsible for protection and hunting and women primarily responsible for childcare and foraging. Consequently, women’s responses to threat would have evolved so as to protect not only self but also immature offspring in their care.” (Tend) At the same time, they joined forces with other women, forming alliances to increase the chances of survival for the collective (Befriend).

A Lot To Ponder About

Well, we know the ongoing conversation about how much these sex-segregated roles have changed at all since all this time. Which is rather frustrating. So, we are not going there. Rather, let’s look closer at Tend-and-Befriend. There is evidence that when there is an immediate threat, human beings are more likely to affiliate with one another and to offer each other aid or solace than to attack one another. We all have been witness of that in our lives.

It is fascinating to see the stress response expand from fight-or-flight to tend-and-befriend. As women we typically fight (lots of extra ongoing stress for women) in a very male dominated business world. We often had and must adapt and suppress behaviors that are seen as too typical for women in order to be successful in this business world (keywords: conscious and unconscious biases). To a point, where we are often confused ourselves about who we really are (and can be).

Tending-And-Befriending At Tiara

At Tiara we keep promoting the idea that “You are not alone on your leadership journey”. We see leadership not as a role but rather an attitude. We all are leaders, leading our lives. The Tiara Leadership Model certified coaches promote the idea of sharing our pains and gains in an open and trustful way. We tend-and-befriend as part of our DNA.

In our workshops we have seen many times how women, especially from large corporations, sometimes struggle to open up. They may rather withdraw (flight) than having the trust to share. Those who go all in usually have a huge return as they get most out of their attendance on a personal level. With sharing we invite new perspectives and help each other grow. Of course a key element here is trust and we know how tricky that is in most organization with heavy office politics going on. However, is this another shadow element of the masculine business culture? Enough to wonder about.

Room For Research

In my very early days working in the Diversity field, we created a brochure for employees explaining the core dimensions of Diversity. With the section “Did you know” we picked examples from the business to make it tangible. Examples that we collected from feedback within the company. For Gender Diversity we wrote: “Work experience shows that teams with women amongst it’s members often have a lower level of aggressiveness than those teams that exclusively consist of men”. There was no scientific evidence at that time but it supports the theory now. Again, this is not saying men per se are aggressive. We are looking at some new explanations that have evolved in human brains and that have been heavily overlooked like so many things. Overlooked because the dominant human species happens to be male and with that has been the major focus of science and research.

It is always helpful to understand what is going on to increase our knowledge. Also knowing that our knowledge sometimes and often is only as current as the latest research until new studies are born. Nevertheless, each one is a stepping stone in our quest to understand life and our being.

The oldest parts of our brain are the ones that drive most of our being and actions as they've had such an incredible amount of time to evolve. They host the most heavily-used pathways in our brain and are generally on "autopilot". Recognizing the many pathways involved in stress response is a more balanced approach.

This approach supports the importance of Networks, not only from the business and equality perspective but from the very core. Look at Business Resource Groups. These groups are usually formed by and for marginalized groups. All members who are not part of a dominant group usually experience more stress. There have been many publications lately how e.g. ongoing racism is an attack on health and wellbeing over generations. Tend-and-Befriend is basically what is also done in Networks. They are truly more important than only having their members contribute additional business results, getting empowered and more visibility. Aren’t they also fundamental to help coping with the extra stress that all these marginalized groups experience?

Certainly, enough material to keep pondering about and look at with fresh eyes.

Biobehavioral Responses to Stress in Females: Tend-and-Befriend, Not Fight-or-Flight Shelley E. Taylor, Laura Cousino Klein, Brian P. Lewis, Tara L. Gruenewald, Regan A. R. Gurung, and John A. Updegraff University of California,Los Angeles https://scholar.harvard.edu/marianabockarova/files/tend-and-befriend.pdf

The XX Brain: The Groundbreaking Science Empowering Women to Prevent Dementia Taschenbuch – March 04, 2021 by Dr. Lisa Mosconi (Author)

About the Author

Christina Gottschau, a Tiara Certified Coach, is amongst the pioneers in Diversity and Inclusion in her home country of Germany. As a Diversity and Inclusion (D&I) consultant, Christina helps organizations bring greater fairness and respect to their workplace.

Christina’s coaching education started at the Art and Science Coaching Program of Erickson Coaching International. She combines over 30 years of practical experience with an in-depth training in coaching techniques.