Acceptance Leads to Momentum

Acceptance is a tricky thing for most of us. Some of us feel that if we accept a situation or a person that we don’t want or like then we are tolerating it ‐ or worse ‐ condoning it. It is hard to understand that by accepting something or someone, we actually loosen the grip or power it has over us and it propels us to a sense of freedom. We don’t have to like the situation; we just have to be willing to see it for what it is.

This is tricky because it seems counter intuitive; in order to release something we must embrace it.

Let’s test that logic. Let’s say you are in a job that isn’t working for any number of reasons (pay, hours, satisfaction, or advancement). When we ask you to describe this job, the description typically starts out with all the negative aspects, and very few, if any, positive aspects are shared. When we dig deeper and ask you to make a list of all of the things about the job that do work or are positive, it usually takes a few moments but you will be able to identify some positive elements about the position or situation.

Now you have a more complete view of the situation. If we are only focusing on the negative we lose sight of the things that actually are working. When we have the full view, including both the good and the bad, then we have “what’s so”. “What’s so” means you have removed some of the emotion and opinion around the situation and are looking at things more objectively.

Getting clear about “what’s so”’ is absolutely critical. Once we have this objective view, we naturally release some of the negative emotion and it allows us to see other things are indeed possible. The intention is also not to gloss over the negative and be too positive. It truly is to be able to look at the situation and say “this is what’s working, this is what’s not.” Then accept that’s “what’s so”.

The access to our creativity does not come from complaining, worrying, or fear. Creativity comes from acceptance. Once we are clear on the situation, we can begin to see alternatives and ideas that were simply not visible or possible to us.

By not accepting or even resisting something, we keep ourselves stuck. There is a common phrase “whatever you resist persists”. By accepting a situation, we loosen the grip of the circumstances and allow our creativity to flow and that creates positive momentum.

Consider:

• Where are you stuck because you’re not accepting something in your life?

• What’s so about the situation? What’s working and what’s not?

• What will it take to accept the situation exactly as it is?

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